Slap Chop Your Face!

Usually when I write this blog I give you some silly story, and how strange people can be at times. Today is a little different though. I have had quite the weekend, a weekend of new beginnings of sorts. This weekend my nephew, Neven Angelo Valdez, was born.
I don't know exactly what it is, but seeing newborn babies always makes me feel like there is so much I don't understand. There is just something about knowing that someone lives in someone else that I can't really wrap my head around. Plus, I just can't understand how I was ever that small. But, enough of the philosophical stuff. For as long as I can remember I have had a fascination with photography. I love taking pictures and seeing how the world looks to others from their photographs. I have always wanted a Canon Rebel XSi, and more recently a Sony A700, but I can never bring myself to spend that much money on a camera then have to buy lenses separate. This weekend I got a camera that I feel I will allow me to start taking some really good photographs. It is an old school 35 mm camera, a Minolta SRT-MC II.

No auto focus, no auto aperture settings, and I have already had some great prints come from it. There is something great in the nostalgic feeling that comes from photographing a floral shot with film instead of a memory card. I love my digital Sony Cybershot, but I am happy to have some more flexibility that comes with the Minolta.
Just for fun I will give you a little silliness. You have most likely seen the infomercial for either the ShamWow or the Slap Chop. The ones with the crazy, fast-paced, middle-age guy. Well that very same guy was busted for punching a prostitute in the face. The ShamWow guy was propositioned for by the prostitute, soon after he took her to his hotel room and paid her $1000. After the financials were taken care of and the kissing began, the prostitute bit his tongue and refused to let go. He then punched her multiple times in the face until she let go. He ran down stairs where security called the police. I have no idea what to say about this story. Why would you bit someones tongue like that? I can't think of what she was possibly trying to accomplish by doing this. I also don't understand why anyone would pay $1000 for a prostitute, the Slap Chop must be a good business to go into.

Question of the Blog: Why do you think the prostitute bit the ShamWow guy's tongue? What was she trying to accomplish?

ShamWow Arrest:
http://tinyurl.com/crql3l

World's Most Popular Plant

On the social networking site Facebook, I have less than 100 friends. On the social networking site Twitter, a plant named Photos has 2,627 subscribers (as of this posting) following its status update. For those who are not members of Twitter, all it is a site where you update your friends of what you are doing with short 140 character phrases. The plant is able to update its status using a device called "Botanicalls". Botanicalls costs around $100, and has to be assembled at home. The device is placed in the soil in which the plant is in and regularly reads the moisture content of the soil. Via the Internet, the plant updates its Twitter homepage saying things such as "Water me please", "thank you for watering me", or "URGENT! water me!". Of course these are preset calls for water, but the owner has the ability to change the messages to whatever they see fit. The creators of Botanicalls were quoted as saying, "The spirit of Botanicalls is not creating a robotic plant. The spirit of Botanicalls is really re-engaging people with nature and getting them to pay attention." How is this encouraging engagement by taking your mind away from your plant until it has to tell you to water it. This is not the first time Botanicalls tried to have plants communicate with their owners. In 2007 Botanicalls make a version that would call the owners phone to tell them to water the plant. It even went as far as to give plants from different areas of the world had accents that reflected that region.
This story just completely rubs me the wrong way. For most people who take care of plants or garden, it is seen as a way to relax and take care of something. Some even use it as a way to get in touch with nature, even if it is on a small scale. To me this just seems as another way to be even more lazy. Instead of going to check on your plant, which may be as close as the next room, you can instead stay on the couch and with your cell phone check if it has posted a twitter update. Plus, I like the plants that are in my apartment, but if they were always telling me to do something that might change pretty quick. It would seem more like a burden. Aside from that, how difficult is it to notice if a plant needs to be watered?
The other part of this whole thing that I don't understand is why over 2,600 people would want to be updated when someone else's plant needs to be watered. And I know that I probably should not be getting worked up over a plant that can Twitter, but I just think it is so ridiculous to be spending time and money on a device that will tell you when to water a plant (this goes both to those who made it and those who buy it).
In news that does make me happy is that both Dean Koontz and Dan Brown have confirmed they each have a new book due out this year. Dean Koontz will release the third book in his Frankenstein series, and Dan Brown will finally release a new book. Dean Koontz was supposed to release the third Frankestein in 2006, but was delayed after hurrican Katrina. Dan Brown's book will be another in the Robert Langdon series. I am just happy he's not riding the wave of the The Da Vinci Code anymore and is going give us something new.

Question of the Blog: Would you want your plants to talk to you?

Talking Plant:
http://tinyurl.com/d9nlmu

Yeah I Had A Heart Attack, So?

When I think of a heart attack, I generally imagine someone struggling for help, well... struggling just to stay alive really. For the most part I see a similar, though less funny resemblance to what Fred Sanford would to on Sanford and Son. But recently an Italian neurosurgeon gave me great hope that if ever I had a heart attack I would be able to get myself help. In Naples, Italy, Dr. Claudio Vitale was removing a brain tumor when he began to suffer from chest pains half way through the surgery. Soon the pain worsened and he realized he was having a heart attack. When the doctor realized that if he were to stop at that point in the surgery the patient would not survive, he finished the surgery before seeking medical attention for himself.
I think what this doctor did was great. I know that I would rather have a guy operating on me while he is having a heart attack then just leave me to become brain dead. I just feel sorry for him because there is no doubt in my mind this guy will be reprimanded to some extent. I'm sure at some point he will get called into an administers office where he will here how reckless he was, and that had he messed up the hospital would be in a very compromised position. The fact is the guy did what he had to do. If I ever have to go into serious surgery I am trusting that doctor with my life , and I would like to think that he would protect it no matter what.
While I am on the topic of heart attacks, if you are interested in having one, it has just been made easier to get closer then ever. I would also like to add this fill of caloric extravagance is brought to you conveniently in one sitting. The Fifth Third Ballpark in Grand Rapids Michigan, home to minor league baseball's West Michigan Whitecaps, will be introducing a new hamburger to the menu for the up coming season. The hamburger will consist of five patties, five slices of cheese, a cup of chili, salsa, corn chips, and of course an 8-inch bun. The whole burger comes in at a whopping 4,800 Calories. The bright side to clogging your arteries is that if you finish one yourself in a single sitting, you are rewarded with a free T-shirt. The perks do not include coverage of medical bills of the heart attack that is sure to follow. Now the burger itself looks pretty good to me, but knowing that it has two and a half days worth of calories (and I'm sure plenty of carbs and cholesterol to go along with it), would turn me off the eating it.

Question of the Blog: a) How would you feel if you learned your doctor continued to operate on you while having a heart attck?
b) Would you ever try to eat a 4,800 calories burger alone?

Dr. Heart Attack:
http://tinyurl.com/d7juvz

Heart Attack Burger:
http://tinyurl.com/dcjdja

Fred Sanford Heart Attack Clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcDONoaFo94
The heart attack is closer to the end. Stick with it or just cut to the end to see it.

Really? You Were That Dumb?

I found a story that really made me angry today. Really really angry. A 16 year old girl (with a history of mental illness) went into a hospital complaining of stomach pains, since her condition was not to extreme or urgent she was asked to wait while other patients were helped. While she was waiting she went to the bathroom where she gave birth to a baby 7 weeks premature. She had apparently hid the pregnancy from those close to her. When security saw blood coming from under the bathroom door, they broke down the bathroom door to find the 16 year old stuffing the baby into a Wonder bread bag and trying to flush it down the toilet. Luckily the staff was able to take the baby to the NICU, and despite being 7 weeks premature as well as small for where it should be developmentally, the baby was strong enough to pull through. Now this is not completely uncommon, but it is still quite maddening. After all there are women who throw their babies into dumpsters, and leave there babies in the woods to die. This is why safe haven laws were put into place. The part of this story that really got to me was how the hospital staff handled the situation after the incident. After the baby had recovered the Social Services staff considered giving the child back to the mother. Not only did this 16 year old not notify her family of her pregnancy, she tried to kill. Now remember, the mother had a history of mental illness. How was there even consideration of giving this child to the mother. I could understand maybe to one of the grandparent, but let's not forget there were not observent enough to notice their 16 year old was pregnant.
In somewhat lighter news, men have once again shown their stupidity in dealing with their libidos. A Kansas man was recently arrested on charges of bigamy. I am not saying that bigamy is completely wrong, I do not really agree with it but if multiple women are content with having one husband (or vise versa) then more power to them. This man from Kansas didn't exactly cover all his bases in this one though. The husband had not told either of his wives that he had taken another wife, yet he still chose to move them into the same appartment complex. Now if I had two wives, they would be as far away from each other as possible. Plus, did these women not question where their husband was. Either one was really neglected and the other had no reason to suspect he was spitting his time with another woman, or they were both really stupid.
One last story that I would like to mention show the risks men take to be sexually satisfied. A Russian man named Mikhail had his penis bitten off by his wife, and I can't say I blame her. Mikhail and his wife decided to invite one of her friends over to have dinner and watch a movie. When Katya, the wife, fell asleep during the movie Mikhail and the friend began to kiss on another. When Katya woke she found her husband recieving oral sex from her friend. Katya smacked her friend across the head, then went in for the kill bitting her husbands penis. Katya must be one deep sleeper for her husband to think she couldn't possible wake up. Despite all of this though, Katya was nice enough to call an ambulance for her husband.

Question of the Blog: Who makes you more angry, the girl for trying to kill her child or the hospital for considering giving it back to her.

Wonder bread Baby:
http://tinyurl.com/d49rmr

Kansas Idiot:
http://tinyurl.com/c6nzml

Russian Idiot:
http://tinyurl.com/crbf9s

Getting Naked

Today I was looking around the internet, and I ran into more stories of, for lack of a better word, idiots. In Denver, the manager of a Blackjack Pizza came into work to an idiot hanging above his oven. When he went into the kitchen he saw a man's legs hanging from the vents and cries of "Help me, Help me". The man had tried to break in a became stuck. When the manager found him he had been stuck for around six hours. As if getting stuck trying rob a store is not bad enough, when the firefighters were removing the man from the vent (which took half an hour), in order to get him out they had to remove his clothes, furthering his embarrassment. What must have this guy been thinking when he decided to try and go in through the vent? If the guy from Mission Impossible can barely get away with a vent robbery, I am surely not going to try it. In another incident, an Aurora electrician was staying in Steamboat Springs at a restaurant he was working on. When he found himself locked outside of the restaurant, which had not yet opened for business, he decided to try and go in through the vent. This man was not as lucky to be stripped down and embarrassed, he died in the vent and was found asphyxiated the next morning by his co-workers. What I don't understand is that there were two others who were in the restaurant, I'm sure if he had knocked loud enough, one of them would have heard his knocking. Plus, what are the chances that neither of the two others had a cell phone, call one of them until they answer.
In another story, a strip club in Providence RI is choosing to hold a job fair. The club manager is claiming that business is good, and people are still willing to pay for drinks and lap dances despite the economy. He is hoping to recruit about 30 more employees. This whole situation seems a little backwards to me. Men are always going to want to see naked women, there is no denying this. Regardless of how bad the economy is, a recession cannot get to a man's libido. And in tough economic times, I thought stripping was a sort of job one turns to when they have no money or are out of work. With the unemployment rate above 10 percent in Rhode Island, why is it then a strip club manager is worrying about whether or not he will have employees, instead of whether or not he will have customers.

Question of the Blog: How bad would your financial situation have to get before you took a job as a stripper?

Blackjack Thief:
http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_11958219

Dumb Electrician:
http://cbs4denver.com/local/electrician.vent.stuck.2.963577.html

Backward Job Fair:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29791612?GT1=43001

Crazy Kids and Their Hormones

I have been looking in the news lately, and I have come across a lot of stupid stories involving sex. Apparently in Jr. and Sr. High Schools across the country a new craze has emerged called "sexting". As the name implies "sexting" involves sending and receiving explicit text messages, including pictures and videos. I think this is just ridiculous. Just think to yourself, "how many people look at my phone"? I can almost guarantee that someone else looks at your phone other than you. I have been asked countless time "Oh, you got a new phone, can I see it?", or just flat out "Can I look at your phone?". Sometimes they won't even ask. People are not just opening and closing a phone when they look at it, they like to go through contacts, pictures, and vidoes. And it's not to be nosey, but when you hand someone your phone it's almost assumed it's ok to go through that stuff. Those teens who are doing this have to understand this, yet they still do it. A has girl even killed herself over this. After she sent her boyfriend nude photos of herself, they broke up and he proceeded to send them to everyone he knew. After being teased about it, she called the local TV station and warned them as to the danger of sexting, months later she killed herself. One town has even gone far enough as to consider these "sexting" messages child porn.
In another story, a woman showed the sheer stupidity of some people. A woman was concerned that her boyfriend was downloading child porn onto her computer. She decided she would take the computer to the police for investigation. As the police searched the computer, they found porn, kind of. The woman who took the computer in to the police had taken two videos of herself engaging is sexual acts with a dog, his name was Tobey (a beagle). The only thing I can think when I see something like this is, how stupid can you be? Why would anyone think that having a beagle get you off is a good idea. What is worse, her ex-boyfriend appears in one of the videos. The question then becomes, "How many idiots does it take to realize dogs are not sex toys?".
There are links to both stories below.

Question of the Blog: Do you think "sexters" should be charged as sex offenders?


Sexting Links:
http://tinyurl.com/bbnr6k
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28679588/

Stupid Woman Link:
http://tinyurl.com/cjrt6t